Is it a natural human condition to
deconstruct each element of one’s facial features? With the incessant barrage
of air brushed notions of perfection, has facial analysis become a common pass
time? Might it be that Narcissus was not in love with his own image, but
instead obsessing about the shape of his chin? To avoid subjecting myself to
such unhealthy comparisons I have eliminated a third of my face by introducing
a fringe, which I then cut myself and now have to wear a hat for two months
until it stops looking ridiculous. I have also attempted to grow a beard and so
eliminate another third of my face. Subject as I am to rules of convention, I
achieved a half millimeter of growth before heating the hot wax, spreading it
on my upper lip, laying down a strip of fabric and attaching orange gunk to the
infested area, only to rip it off and find I had created a sticky mustache.
Several plucks with the tweezers later I inspected the upper lip which was not
stiff.
If such dedication to upper lip
perfection does not result in a stiff one then I have no idea how I can achieve
such a state of being. After-all it is a British thing; it is part of our
Dunkirk spirit. It is staying calm and carrying on.
I know of no one who stays calm and
carries on. I know of faces set like stone trying to do what they must and
crumbling and crying like an overused pillow each night, because staying calm
is hurting them. For those not crying each night, there are those drinking each
night. The others are not crying and appearing to stay calm because the Doctor
has given them drugs to do so. Others are running, not metaphorically, but
literally running around streets and country lanes in a kind of escapist way
and also because that sort of exercise releases endorphins which work a bit
like the drugs and alcohol the rest of us are surviving on. No one’s lip is
stiff.
This lack of stiff lip, this myth
of Britishness has been more than evident in the Scottish referendum. There
were no stiff lips from politicians, but red faces and “heart” felt pleas and
then there were the threats. The kind of threats received when you go to a
party your mum doesn't want you to go to. “If you go I’ll take your Playstation
away.” In this case Tesco was going to leave. I don’t see the problem more
space for Lidl and Aldi.
During the past two weeks I have
seen not resolve but pessimism as a British trait: the general message being if
you do things differently it’s going to be a failure, bad things will happen,
the man will be angry.
Well here’s a thing. What if you go
for what you believe in? What if the outcome is a good outcome? What if change
is positive? Why not? Why for once can’t good things happen?
The No campaign won but the
positive attitude of the Yes campaign has lead to change, a change that was due
and a change that must be for the good.
