It Doesn’t have to be hard

I sat among white roses and sewed 

When I was a little kid, adults tried to shield me from worrying topics of discussion. They applied techniques:

1: discussing the matter when I was in bed.

2: mouthing significant elements when I was around.

3: suddenly talking in Greek

I know about the first technique because a school friend overheard her parents in conversation about nuclear weapons and loyally fed back to me the following day.  She was very worried, and I have remained worried ever since.

Mouthing significant elements was a thing my Nan did. She died when I was seven. I am now forty four and I can still remember the frustration of having a whole word just mouthed out. A word of course that I was unfamiliar with, a word whose gravity I would not understand.

The third technique was the most frustrating of all, I would be keenly following a conversation about nothing in particular between mum and her sister and the moment it got juicy it went ..Greek.

When I was a kid I wanted to be involved. I wanted to partake in conversations. I wanted to listen and join in. Even if sometimes I was frightened by the discussion. Which I never was because they used those techniques, unless they were talking about ghosts, in which case they seemed to totally forget that there was a kid with an “Overactive Imagination” in the room.

Consequently I try to be open when discussing around my son. It seems kids very much want their opinion to be respected in the adult realm. I can't remember what we were discussing, but it was with great conviction that my boy said,  

“But if you work hard and try it will be Okay?”

There was maybe a minute of silence before my husband and I replied;In unison

“No.”

Working hard has nothing to do with success.

It's a lie that has been sold to us, the devil makes work for idle hands and all that. Working hard simply exhausts you. Working hard is miserable.

I believe it is quite feasible to be happy and successful without working hard. Though you might need to adjust your aspirations a little. Surely it is better to be  happy with who you are and what you have, than to work hard in order to get more stuff.

Yesterday I sat among white roses and sewed, pretty things for my craft show.

https://andyartisand.carbonmade.com/

My husband painted adorable creature cards in the room next door. I had the radio on. I was not working hard. None of it was hard.

Even my real job isn't hard anymore. It used to be. But that story is for another time.

Who told the kid its hard?

Did he stay up late and eavesdrop? Could he read the shapes of silent words? Has my mother been teaching him Greek?

There is no reason why work should be hard.

It just needs to feel good.