The Write Outfit

I am having a Cinderella moment; I have nothing to wear.

I should go shopping, but I hate clothes shopping; too often the garments on offer are the wrong colour, too big or out of my price range. Finding the perfect outfit in a charity shop is a skill that eludes me. There must be a technique; someone should start an evening class: I’d enroll.

If I were a full time writer or a recluse (research suggests there’s a hairs breath between the two) then I might have a single occasions outfit and my continued wearing of it could be explained away as eccentricity.

Potential Eccentric Writers Outfits.

Carry On Screaming

A Molyneux of Paris style gown, in the deepest purple crushed velvet with sharp Dracula collar.  Occasion wear screaming gothic romanticism for the writer of dark fiction. Disadvantages would be a perquisite pan cake flat tummy.

Little Miss Dumbeldore

Another floor length number, this time in black satin, with great pointed magicians sleeves edged in white velvet.  Sumptuous outerwear for the writer of metaphysical fiction. The Disadvantages are as for the first choice outfit along with the danger of appearing swamped.

My Dress of Many Colours

Still reaching to the ankle is the ultimate bohemian gypsy garb, all flowing lace, embroidery, ribbons and little strips of velvet; very Lady of Shalott. A dress for a poet of the textured soul. Disadvantages lay in its construction; with the involvement of many textures there is a danger of looking like a beautiful cushion cover.

I am not, as it happens a recluse and I’m not that much of an eccentric, so I have compiled a second list selected for understated stylishness.

Potential Stylishly Arty Writers Outfits

The Factory Floor

Sporting Beatnik Chic with super tight black jeans, long sleeved high collared top, black shiny boots; a timeless ensemble for expressionists. Here stands the writer that cuts to the core of emotion and leaves punctuation to the discretion of the reader. Disadvantages lie in not looking young enough.

  

Breakfast at a Coffee Shop:

A knee length, black cotton dress with starched white cotton collar.  For the writer who tells it as it is. Adverbs avoided at all costs whilst teetering on the brink of something we have read before. Disadvantages include lingering in a safe look reminiscent of the Wednesday Addams general get up.

Ninja Warrior

An inspired, Japanese, two piece comprising: Capri length black satin trousers with matching black tailored shirt displaying embroidered button detail. Slashing the space between dreams and reality, this is an outfit for the writer who never really wakes up. Disadvantages you may look like you’re still in your pajamas.

So when she finally turns up, my fairy godmother that is, we have some things to discuss. And seeing as this week we are talking fashion you might be interested to know that she turns up all over the place; she has made appearances in several of my short stories and is trying to sneak her way into my first ever theatre piece. She dresses like Pola Negri .